Watching the Days Go By

At times, as any mom will tell you, being at home day in and day out with the little creatures becomes monotonous, repetitive.  The minutes and hours of these days tend to blend into each other.  I walk around the house listlessly, picking up a toy I just put away, sweeping the floor that was clean a minute ago, folding clothes just to find them in a messed-up pile on someone's floor.  I have learned by now its much easier not to get upset about these things, as they will all reoccur again tomorrow; I just trudged through doing these routines over and over.  I engage in kids games for 3 and 5 year olds, create with play dough and paint, read ABC books ad nauseum.  Occasionally, I run into another adult for a brief 5-minute conversation in between picking up and dropping off older kids.  Those brief moments leave my mind unstated in all of the grand things in the world I want to do and conquer, if it were not for these little ones I love so much. The sameness of each day can become a heavy blanket mixed with the weight of boredom and love and I just can get trapped in this mind set of blah. Blah.  Blah.  Blah.   Luckily, there are other moms out there who can do a pretty good job of giving me a virtual slap across the face to get me back to reality and stop moping when I read about their stories and what they do.

Today, my slap-across-the-face was brought to me by Anna Maria Horner, a mom of 6, fabric designer, and, based on her blog, a down-to-earth person.  I was moved by her recent post about her oldest daughter leaving after what I presumed was the winter break to go back to school.   I was near tears as I could feel the emptiness of her daughter not being there any more, not only grown up, but now gone again after time they got to spend together. Sigh.  One day, my little babes will be headed out that door.  And I won't have to worry about picking up toys or folding clothes (well, at least until they come home for a break I guess...or start bringing their own children around...).

These creatures, they do grow up.  They do stop play dough and games.  They learn to drive and don't get picked up and dropped off any more.  Even worse, they do leave and come back only for visits.  The moments of drudgery and repetition can be what my day is about or they can just be minor little fillers of days filled with my kids, watching them grow and learn, playing and painting beside them.  My moments that before seemed to drag on forever now had a very definite limit to them, counted and limited.  I felt the odd sensation of not having enough time, not enough days to get in all the ABCs and picking up of little toys before they were all gone.  Sometimes, a change in perspective is all that is needed to change the attitude towards those monotonous, repetitive actions. I was certainly thankful for my change in perspective and found a little smile as I picked up the blocks from the floor for the 10th time today...I do not know if I will ever get to smiling about the folded-now-unfolded clothes on the floor...that might take a little more time and a lot more perspective changing....