Some of Otter's Haikus

Now he's in 4th grade
So it is time for learning
All about haikus.

(that one was mommy's)

Sitting in my desk
Teacher babbles on and on
Summer, please come soon.

Pretty leaves from trees,
laying on the cold cold ground
waiting to be found.

A flower shoots high
Peeking at the surroundings
It questions nature.

My project is late!
I am waiting for grounding.
I am so, so dead.

It hides my being.
It disguises my own mind
The veil cloaks my life.


He's a pretty deep kid, that Otter guy:)

Beanie Reading

This is how the princess reads
on a warm sunny day.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping.
Winter is far away.
Her majesty has decided
Outside is no longer a bad thing
The cold is gone, the snow is melted.
She can now enjoy the spring.

My Roosters

One of them spent over 20 minutes trying to climb to the top of the coop. He first tried it with his homemade "grappling hook," but much to his dismay, this cranky ol' hen wouldn't let him attach it to the weather vane on top or let it slide underneath the shingles because they would rip off. After attempting to climb through windows and up on the flower boxes, he finally decided to pull over the playhouse, climb on top of that, and then to the top of the chicken coop. He called it cheating. I called it improvising. As soon as he made it to the top, the larger rooster came home and with one step on the railing and one more step onto the roof, he was sitting right next to the little one. Two roosters proudly perching on the coop:)

As always, my mama hen mind fast forwards years when I see these scenes. I know that those precious 20 minutes of watching my kiddo problem solve and try, try, and try again will all too soon turn into only a leap and bound when he grows up and has those long legs like his daddy.

The desk of possibilities

April 23

My inlaws are coming up this week from Alabama and with them they are bringing a roll-top desk that they have had for years. They are downsizing in their retirement days and are now passing along the roll-top desk. There are few pieces of furniture that I have ever truly wanted or been intrigued by, but I can remember as a kiddo loving the roll-top desk. My Girl Scout troop leader had one and I just loved all the nooks and crannies to store things and the different drawers up top to put all that stuff. At the end of each meeting, I would be at that desk just sitting there, opening and closing each drawer, imaging what I would put in there. Sometimes, I would roll the top close. I would usually get a funny look from her, but she would occasionally smile and let me continue on my merriment. I am very excited at the thought of the desk making its way up from Alabama to be here and sit in my room (not to mention the fact that its bringing my inlaws with it - YEAH!). Now I will be able to open and close it all I want without feeling too sneaky about it.

April 27

Ok, the desk is here and my spot is not cleared out for it (my fault) so the poor thing is just sitting in the driveway in the Uhaul. I hope it is not too lonely. Joe (he probably won't read this so forgive me, dear husband) is still hem-hawing about where to put it, but I definitely want it in my room so I can have something to do with my late night insomnia attacks! Its supposed to sit in my room and wait for me to write! That's what this desk is for!

April 30

Finally, its just sitting here in my room, waiting for me. Its better than an art or sewing project that I have all the materials for and just haven't found the time yet to put together. The desk is just sitting there. This morning, it was whispering to me all the potential things I can do on it, write more, send all those thank you notes (well, knowing me, probably write them and then have them sit on the desk for a few months before I find them again and then mail them), design some clothes for the kids, paint a card or two. Its just sitting here. It doesn't even have a chair yet, but I know once it does, my late nights are now going to have a partner in crime. There will be a desk waiting for me to use it, sit at it, write at it. It fits right in perfectly, like it was meant to be here.

May 3

Yesterday, the boys bought a new chair for my desk (both the upstairs desk and my sewing desk downstairs! I am a spoiled lady!). Joe told me how all three, Otter, Smoosh, and him, carried the chairs out of the store together. Smoosh then proceeded to carry the chair upstairs all by himself! With the biggest smile, he put it down and scooted it right into place. Today is the first day I have actually sat and used the desk to write. There is a delight in just sitting and writing at it, knowing how far it traveled, knowing it was passed down from Mamaw, that Papaw and Joe carried it upstairs (as if it were light as a feather :)), knowing the boys picked out the chair. I feel like my writing now has purpose and is now something I should do each day diligently (even though it will probably fall into a more haphazard habit as always). I am becoming more acquainted with the desk...I have opened and closed each drawer, imaging what little things I am going to hide in each; I have rubbed my fingers along the edges with Beanie, both of us admiring the smooth feel of the wood; rolled the top open and closed with Smoosh and Otter, being equally surprised with how everything just "disappears" underneath and having just as much fun opening it back up again. The desk now feels complete and feels more than just a piece of furniture in my room. It is decorated with all those small things I cherish; the chair all my "men" picked and carried out of the store for me, the small computer that is intended for writing and sewing projects not work, pictures of my kids, baby jar vases of fresh cut tulips and lilacs from the gardens, and my frog in a lotus position sitting on top reminding me to take deep breaths and just be present. It is definitely ready now for the creativity to start flowing...but maybe after a nap because this whole process of acquisition and putting it all together has just been too exciting. I just need to roll this little top down before I go....

Zen in the Grocery Store

In an effort to help Smoosh find some calm within him, I have been very deliberate about everything I do with him, helping him to notice small details of the day and taking time to engage him in what he is doing so he is not moving through his day with listless, insane energy. This is an exhausting process and by the end of the day I am absolutely mentally and physically exhausted, but it is incredibly rewarding to see him find some calm and peace finally. The moment I slip, he slips and is back to his crazy man self. As we become more attuned to our routine of calm though, he is able to slip back into an engaged state easier and easier. They are small and slow steps, but they are definitely steps in the right direction.

With this type of new outlook towards how I go about life with Smoosh, I went grocery shopping, truly the Herculean task for all moms with young children. The typical goal of the experience is to get in and out those doors as fast as possible, with everything on the list (if I actually remembered to bring it), and with as few things broken, chewed on, or opened by the kids. Leaving the store, I rush to the car to get the kiddos, who are usually loud and restless, into the van so I can close the doors and enjoy a few quiet minutes while unloading the groceries into the back. This week, I had a shopping trip that was truly unlike any other shopping trip I have ever had before. With the thought of being intentional for everything that was put in our grocery basket, Smoosh and I went about "inviting" our fruits and vegetables to come home with us. We asked the apples if they wanted to come home and be our food. We carefully examined each tomato to determine which ones were going to be for our sandwiches and which ones were going to be for our salads. We took time to remember the lives of the turkey and fish that once were alive and now were packaged, trying to imagine them eating grass (I like to be optimistic about that one for the turkeys...when older I'll give the truth and maybe he can be a vegetarian like me!) and swimming in the ocean (uhhh...ditto for the fish). I gave him clues about what ingredients we needed to have to put our sandwiches on or what could we find that was yellow and monkeys liked to eat. We even thanked the soap for coming home with us so we would no longer have a stinky Daddy (not that Daddy is really that stinky, but the elderly lady in the aisle loved that one when Smoosh said it). Every item we put in the cart was talked about before it went in.

When checkout time came, it was with great joy that I watched Smoosh talk to the grocery bagger, Jorge, and tell him about our tomatoes and apples. He explained what we were going to be eating for the week and how lucky we were to have the food we picked out for our dinners. There was no climbing out of the cart or grabbing for the candy in the aisle. To say he was calm would be a stretch, but he certainly was engaged and was being a part of the process. The grocery trip took much longer than it normally did, but I walked out of the store in a peaceful state myself, feeling calm, happy, and incredibly blessed for the food and children I had sitting there in my cart. Smoosh sat happily in the back of the cart, snuggled in with all of the bags, talking to the apples before grabbing one and eating it. Ok, a little odd, but again, its small steps we are making here with the big man and there were definitely some steps made in that grocery store today towards a more calm, engaged Smoosh.

Beanie Has a Shadow

Sometimes, I wish I had had a shadow, too. They seem like pretty nice things to have growing up.

The Unthinkable Happened Today

Today, I told Beanie that no matter how hard she tried, she just would never be able to make shooting gun sounds because she was not a boy and they just naturally seem to be able to do it. I nearly fell off my seat hearing the words come out of my mouth. How had this happened? How had I let myself actually ever allow those words to be thought, let alone fall from my lips? The mere thought that any of the fairer sex could not do something because we are of the fairer sex is against everything I believe in! Yes, we have our limitations, but that is because we chose them, not because they are any type of physical or mental limitations because we are not in possession of a Y chromosome! Especially something as simple as making a gun shooting sound from our mouths! If we want to make shooting sounds we can make them just as well as the boys can, dangit!

After I committed this verbal atrocity, I grabbed Beanie, and she and I went off to the other room to practice our shooting sounds and mouth noises. Maybe one day I will try to teach her to spit, too. Though, really, I never have gotten the hang of that one either. Maybe one day we will decide that really there is just too much spit involved in the process to really want to make shooting sounds, or maybe shooting things is really gruesome in and of itself. Then we will be choosing not to do it.

But, dangit if Smoosh cannot already make shooting noises better than both Beanie and I combined after a lot of practice on our parts. Silly Y chromosomes.